The Office environment makes for hilarious thoughts and interesting conclusions to be realized. Perfect example being the much loved comedy The Office. Walking the halls I just laugh to myself seeing some of the characters that inhabit my floor. And let me tell you, working for a major branch of the Federal Government enhances this ‘odd character’ factor by at minimum 10 times. The list begins here:

1. “Mole Man” – this guy is the creature from another world. A descendant of some Eurasian country, this old dude reeks of a strange aged odor, almost of mustiness. After our morning daily conference calls, he stalks out his victims and drowns them in his incessant questions. I’ve been cornered for no less than 30 minutes answering questions of which I specifically tell him I don’t have the answer for. The massive mole on the tip of his nose gives the guy his name. He is known throughout the office and people avoid him like the plague.

2. “Soprano” – I swear this guy spends his free time doing guess spots for the soon to be finished Sopranos. Rocking his Caddy Escalade, with Jersey plates nonetheless, this dude sports nothing but tight shirts and pants in a trying to be badass style while everyone remembers he is like 45 and now looks completely out of place. He never shows an emotion, and I’ve even caught him pulling out his comb in the bathroom to perfect his permanently placed hair. My buddy from work referred to him and his lunch group as the “Johnny Sax crew” the other afternoon. Pretty fitting.

3. “Buttons” – seriously this lady goes by the name of Buttons even in formal settings. I’ve never seen her but are you serious? Your name is Buttons? Wow.

4. “That freaky transsexual dude from Silence of the Lambs” – this guy looks EXACTLY like him. He has this stoic slow moving way about himself. He is really tall and always wears short sleeve button down shirts that are unbuttoned way too far down showing like half his wife-beater. This is inside the office let me remind you. Supposedly a business casual/business dress environment. Weird, really weird.

These are just a few of strangers I encounter on a daily basis. Not to mention all the old Virginia-loving government lifers that if you have worked with or in the Federal Gov’t, you would totally know what I’m talking about.

Let me close by saying I’m dedicating myself to getting pictures of these peeps so that you can all fully appreciate the humor. I’ll be in touch.

Music: Today I found myself listening to this track from Andrew Bird’s newest album, Armchair Apocrypha, and digging it.

Andrew Bird – Simple X